I had been feeling smug recently with my “Safe Internet for Parents” talk, which I deliver as a social contribution to schools and interested organisations because it started to feel good.
I began to feel more important than the message. The poignant March TED Talk Ex by Monica Lewinsky painfully reminded me of my illusions of grandeur. TED Talks is a brilliant forum dedicated to epic talks by fascinating speakers with the tag “Ideas worth spreading”. TED Talks is what makes me look smart at the University – a secret I trust you will keep.
The former White House intern’s love affair with President Bill Clinton made headlines around the world in 1998. Describing herself as one of the first victims of cyber bullying, she said the Internet had created a culture where people enjoyed viewing others’ shame online. Monica Lewinsky disconcertingly described how she was vilified and so became Patient Zero by losing her personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously. “At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss. At the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences.” Her speech received a standing ovation.
Many of us will remember President Clinton who famously declaring “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” She contextually takes a look at our “culture of humiliation”, where people’s misery generates profit. “The more shame, the more clicks and the more clicks the more advertising dollars. We are making money off the back of suffering”, she said, pointing to recent cases such as the leaking of nude photos of celebrities such as Jennifer Lawrence which generated five million hits (visits) on one gossip website.
Yet we all consider the Internet to be neutral. The perceived beauty of the Internet is that it neither fears nor favours anyone. This is the one reason the Internet grew unfettered. Does this “progress” mean that we carry on this way or are we reaching an era of “business unusual”? Before we attack Lewinsky for “playing the victim”, know that this is only the second time she has spoken publicly since disappearing from the public eye. She had decided to speak out after a decade of silence because she wanted to let others know you can survive this violation. Lewinsky told the story of 18-year-old Tyler Clementi who was a student at Rutgers University in New Jersey when his roommate set up a webcam and captured video of him in bed with another man. The resulting online harassment led Clementi to suicide, jumping from the George Washington Bridge in 2010. “Tyler’s tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me,” said Lewinsky and “it served to re-contextualise my experiences. I began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different… every day online, people – especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this – are so abused and humiliated that they can’t imagine living to the next day. And some don’t.” The Internet, she said, multiplied her own personal humiliation. She fell in love with her boss and so began an improbable romance. Lewinsky explained, “I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. When the story broke, it broke online.” Thus it became one of the first times that the traditional news media were usurped by the Internet on a major news story. This was before the advent of what we today know as social media. She metaphorically asserts, “There were mobs of virtual stone-throwers. I was branded a tart, a slut, a whore, a bimbo. I lost my reputation; my dignity and I almost lost my life. There was no name for this then, but now we call it cyber bullying or online harassment.”
A Dutch study conducted in the Netherlands darkly determined that cyber bullying was more likely to lead young people to suicide than its offline equivalent. Cyber bullying includes texting or posting scary, rude messages or unpleasant photos; deleting or deliberately ignoring victims’ messages on groups or social networks. Lewinsky urged users to approach their online communications with more compassion. “It used to only extend as far as your family, your school, your village, but now it is to the whole online community.”
Some suggestions I can add to handle cyber bullying include:
– Confiding in some trusted individual such as a family member or friend if something upsets you.
– Do not respond to messages but save evidence.
– Don’t take everything to heart.
– Be careful about what you write, share and post online.
– Know how to block or report people.
– Don’t add to the problem by liking or sharing an unkind image or comment.
Ms Lewinsky, my sincere apologies. I laughed at you and even smirked because it felt right. Thank you for courageously reminding me of the evil power of power.
– Colin Thakur is the Director of the iNeSi e-Skills CoLab at DUT. He is a digital activist keen on upgrading the e-skills of the nation to enhance the quality of life.
* This edited article was published in the Dolphin Coast Mail.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Durban University of Technology.
